Sex is Funny
Sometimes sex gets down right funny! Being that I see it at work on a regular basis, I am used to seeing laughing and playing when the cameras stop rolling, after all we are all working. Sex on set can get down right hysterical sometimes: pop shots to the eye, falling off desks, etc. But I have had a few instances when my own personal sex life should have ended up on America’s Funniest Home Videos. Don’t get any ideas … I’m not going the Paris Hilton route! Since I didn’t film it and can’t broadcast it’s glory across the internet, I’ll just get a little too TMI and share this embarrassing yet comedic event.
Awhile back I was hanging out with a fairly fun guy and we decided to head down the coast for a weekend of fun in the sun! We have the IPOD jamming with the summer tunes, great weather … the weekend is shaping up to be perfect. We decide to stay at an amazingly cool kitschy hotel that he knew about the first 2 nights before making our move to the much ritzy-er hotel. I was going to experience everything this weekend! (that sentence is much funnier later!) The first night we chill and rest up because some friends were gonna be in town the following night and we knew we were gonna be on full tilt with their arrival!
The Next day our homeboy and his current random 19 year old meet up with us EARLY afternoon, I’d say 2-ish at the VERY latest. We start hitting bar after bar after bar. By 6pm we are being throw out of a hole in the wall Mexican restaurant for “disturbing other patrons”. PSHHHH … like drunken swearing should disturb anyone. At some point our Homeboy sent his 19yo back to his hotel to go to bed … when, where or how, I don’t really remember. This drunken bar hopping carries on until what felt like midnight … but was about 8pm. Let’s put it this way we were drunk enough to have an underwear-mildly gay-photoshoot in the hotel hallway via cell phone, until we were rudely interrupted by a very shocked elderly guest in the hallway. It’s at this juncture my friend and I decide we should go into our room before we get kicked out and asked to never ever return.
Once inside the room, naturally we are ready to go after so many drinks. We are on the balcony getting it on ::insert porn music here:: … which was very romantic in the sense that we were beach front, it was nice, the sound of the waves. We are going at it for awhile, with zero shame … until my friend suddenly realizes there is a restaurant next door with a patio and we have an attentive audience. I’m not talking we were out there 5 min, skirt hiked up discreetly … a few patrons maybe noticing. I’m talking out there long enough to be picked out of a line up, not a stitch of clothing and the WHOLE restaurant has a perfect view and probably noticed us in the first place because of how loud I was. He calmly looks at me and says “We should probably go inside … the restaurant patio is getting more of a view then they expected” as he dies laughing. I look to my left and viryually make eye contact with like 12 people. Are you kidding me? 20-30 tourist just saw my O face and can identify tattoos on my body? I was mortified … and highly amused due to drunkenness. I’m not the exhibitionist type in the slightest and i was certainly not positioned at the most um … flattering angles! Even now my face turns an awesome shade of red when thinking of all those people.
Let me guess you think the story ends …
I probably should end the story now to keep my dignity intact, dignity … schmignity!
We run inside laughing our drunk asses off. After we catch our breath we get right back to it … except with exceptional force and inaccuracy it goes to the wrong … ummm … location. I scream and pretty much crawl my way half way up the wall like a fucking cat. Nothing like a little surprise anal to make us die laughing all over again! He apologized profusely … I still think it was intentionally. FYI, FRIEND … I wasn’t that drunk! But A For effort …
I hope i’m not the only one laughing in the bedroom AT MYSELF!
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Your an ass! LOL