Posted by Captain Pants on Sep 9, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating I wanna know what love is…I want you to show me….
Sorry. Got carried away there. So, we all know that the internet is for everyone and we are all looking for love. I also know that most programs now a days, even text on phones, have spell check for those who are not too good in that department. Soooooo, where’s the “that doesn’t make any sense!” for the foreigner emails?!…
Here are the emails. Nothing is changed or fixed. I couldn’t fix these even if I tried! There aren’t much, but I had to share these!
HI I REED UR PROFILE AND U ARE A VERY NICE GIRL AND I WAS WODER DO U DATE HISPANICS.
-I don’t discriminate! I’m just sick of playing editor with my red pen. Thanks for reeding!
Just now want to say HI ,Realy you are soooooooooo pretty .not execting to revieve from you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cheers
-Uhhhh…What???
frankly i can saw you are smiling wonderful. i miss to see like this smile
-::nervous smile:: th-thanks. I think.
Tags: Adventures In Internet Dating, Dating, foreigners, internet dating, language barriers, spell check
Posted by Captain Pants on Aug 19, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating OMG! I realized that I have not blogged about the infamous Announcer from my internet dating. So this date took place a while back, but is still sooo fresh in my mind…
I met the Announcer on an internet site. We chit chatted and talked about meeting up. We finally decided on a date, time and place (he came to me). We talked on the phone a couple times and we were both excited about meeting up. So, I get all dressed up (duh!), but still keep it casual looking and drive (practically around the corner, yessss!) to where we decided to meet for dinner. I recognized him right off the bat and judging by his face… I did a good job at getting ready, haha! Anyways, he pulls something out of his pocket and it’s a little stuffed monkey. ***Quick back story*** One day he told me he was going to the zoo with his roommate and his roommates kid and I was quite jealous. So he brought me something from the zoo since I couldn’t go. Awww…so nice right?!
We sit down to eat. Get some apps, drinks and dinner. We actually keep up good convo and exchange some nice smiles. He had a really nice smile. He was a cute guy and I was enjoying my view. We finish up our night, both ignoring our back up phone calls…haha. You know the phone call you have your friend make and if you answer you suddenly have some “emergency” that you need to run off to. Haha. I do find out that he is quite the partier, but I was ok with that. He walks me to my car and we say good night. No kiss, just a hug.
I get home and realize that I am glowing. I have a great rest of the night and actually talk to him again that night because he called to say what a good time he had. We talk off and on for the rest of the week. The weekend is coming and I have people coming over. I invited the Announcer ahead of time and he said that he would come. I was totally excited. Read more…
Tags: Adventures In Internet Dating, Dating, internet dating, new bf arm wrestling new bf, playing with emotions, the announcer
Posted by Captain Pants on Aug 16, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating Here are some all kind of fails that I get in emails. I really hope that someone is taking notes!
Hi,
I wonder if there is more to you than a great beautiful smile? I read your profile but I’m still not sure. maybe you can help me figure it out?
dont be shy 
-Trying not to come off as a douchebag…FAIL
I see you’re born in April just like me. Been a while since i’ve found someone who was. Would you like to chat online and get to know each other better?
-Claiming to have read my profile. My birthday is NOT in April….FAIL
We should get together sometime
-First email…FAIL
ur cute wanna hang out sometime?
-Booty call…FAIL
hey = )
i saw that we matched up and i decided to drop you a line saying that i think your very attractive and wanted to get to know you a little better
I may not be 25 but im not into the stupid games guys play
-Reading and following direction… FAIL
Read more…
Posted by Captain Pants on Aug 12, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating I would just like to know at what age do they offer neutering to men? Some of the messages that I get on the dating sites, not to mention the way some men act in everyday life, are just ridiculous. Tell me this…Why would I want to respond, let alone date you if it seems like I’m not even someone you are that interested in? Yes, obviously you are interested cause you messaged me, but if you act so nonchalant about it, what’s the rush in me getting back to you.
***NEWSFLASH***: Women like to feel wanted. Desired. Yes I know that you probably message 20 different girls a day, but at least act like I may have been the only one. Otherwise, really, what’s the point. And if I’ve somehow made you feel the need to tuck it in an email and we haven’t even spoke or met yet, trust me, you don’t want to meet me. But let me know when you grow a pair.
Here are some of those emails. No BS. No balls:
Him: I just thought you seemed like someone i’d like to learn more about. If you feel like a chat just hit me back, otherwise its no biggie. Hope all is well.
-Well since it’s no biggie and we are in no rush hit me back up when you grow a pair.
Him: Hello…Just thought i would drop you a line since i saw you checked out my profile, you are beautiful!
Me: Aww, thank you and Hi =)
Him: Your very welcome!
-Uhhhh. Ok. Guess we are done with that conversation. So, when are you gonna grow a pair?
Him: Hey there. My friend told me about this site and I decided to try it out to meet new people or maybe that special someone. Anyways, was looking at some of my possible matches and saw your pic. I think
you have a very beautiful smile and hope to get a chance to talk to you sometime in the future to get to know each other.
-Please man up that you joined the site of your own free will. Just like me. Now please…Grow a pair. Read more…
Tags: Adventures In Internet Dating, Dating, grow a pair, internet dating, man up, neutered men
So, back when I first started the internet dating I gave ALL guys from all walks of life a chance. If it had a penis and looked cute I would message him back. Why not? That’s what I’m here for right? What could be the harm in just a friendly hello?? Famous last words, I know. I quickly learned my lesson and have since changed my settings (which still doesn’t stop the 25 and younger guys from messaging, but at least the inbox sends them and me a “Hey this guy is YOUNG” message…haha). Most guys have got the hint, but there is one in particular that still pops up now and again.
In the beginning we exchanged IM screen names because well, let’s face it, it’s easier than emailing back and forth. Through constant IM’ing, on his part (damn that guy can type/text forever!), I realized that this guy was way too young for me and even with his REPEATED “I don’t like girls my age. I’m just not into all that party and crazy lifestyle anymore. I want a girl that knows where she is going in life and is ready to settle down.” Slow down there kiddo. I get the point. I’m just not your girl. Sorry, but I have to listen to my mom when she says
Read more…
Tags: Adventures In Internet Dating, Dating, dating younger guys, internet dating, Man he can talk, the young and the restless
Posted by Captain Pants on May 27, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating Ok. So, I am a bit behind on my internet dating blogs, but hey, life happens. Haha. Anyways, I have a date to talk about so here it goes.
A while ago (and I mean like months ago!) I went on a date with a guy that was 38. About a 13 year difference. I wasn’t too sure about it, but why the hell not. This whole dating thing is all about adventure anyways right?! So we meet up at this Mexican joint (points for him) with really good margaritas (extra points!). He gets there before I do (more points cause I wasn’t running late) put our name down and waits patiently for my arrival, haha. Actually, at this point I was driving around trying to find parking. I’m not the biggest LA/ Hollywood fan when I’m the one driving. Finally I say fuck it and park it Valet. Valet is my friend…most of the time. I get out and we meet out front. I notice he looked like his pics, but maybe a tad bit older looking. Side note: You know people put many pics on their profiles (at least those are the ones that I tend to answer back. I refuse profiles with one or sometimes two pics only!) and I’m usually drawn to one particular picture and hope that that was the recent one, or that they have decided to cut their hair back to looking like that and/or now dress like that… on a daily basis. Well, he didn’t look like the pic
Read more…
Tags: Adventures In Internet Dating, dating points, disappearing act, internet dating, the spark
Posted by Captain Pants on Feb 25, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating 
Ok. So, I figured it was time to share some of the messages I have been getting from my internet adventures. This is just a small example of some of the ways that these guys think (or lack there of) in hopes to get my attention. Or perhaps into my pants, haha. Again, names have been changed to protect the idiots and those they may embarrass. Though spelling, grammar and plain stupidity has been left as is.
“hi the only reason i am hitting on you is your innocent bright shinning face you know if you leave out the h it is a sinning face which is really what i want.”
Read more…
Tags: bad pick up lines, Dating, guys trying to get into girls pants, horny guys, internet dating, stupidity
Posted by Captain Pants on Feb 7, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating 
So, one thing I have learned from this whole Internet Dating thing is there are some really desperate people! There are guys who write up this huge email and send it out to probably every girl that they can find on the site. Because I highly doubt that they really have that much interest in me by reading that I like sushi, the color pink and looking at my pics! Here is a prime example: (names have been changed to save the embarassment of the desperate)
Hi darling!
My name is Mass Emailer. Read more…
Tags: Dating, desperation, internet dating, mass emailer
Posted by Captain Pants on Feb 3, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating 
And the saga continues. In todays episode of Adventures in Internet Dating we meet the Name Dropper.
So, I was chatting with a guy that had messaged me due to the fact that we had a high percentage in the “we may end up liking each other one day because you like things like bread and I like sandwiches” percentages that they calculate for you. I found out that he is in the music entertainment business. So, that gave us stuff to talk about. He makes music, I listen to it. Something in common. We chat it up for a few days and then decide to meet up for some drinks. We meet up and things are going ok. It’s not amazing, but it’s not bad either. After a few drinks I suggest the dive bar across the street that I know to play some shuffleboard. Which P.S. I am taking all of my victims from now on. If you can hang with me at he dive bar for shuffleboard and darts you can hang with me, but Read more…
Tags: Dating, internet dating, ron burgundy, ron jeremy
Posted by Captain Pants on Jan 23, 2009 in
Adventures In Internet Dating 
A few weeks ago Miss Communication and I were working on a project together. Earlier in the morning I had been online and was talking to a guy that caught my interest, or maybe I caught his..haha. I don’t remember. Anyways, I talked to the guy for awhile and knew that I was going to be leaving and would be unavailable for the next few days, so I gave him my number so that we could continue in text. After I signed out and went about a few of my errands I got a text. It was from the guy that I just given my number too. Let’s call him Truck Guy cause he had some nice pictures of a big truck on his profile! Oh yeah. I’m one of those. Big trucks get me all HOT and bothered! Anyways, we were chit chatting it up for a while when I let him know that I would be unavailable throughout the day because of work. We continued discussing how much we like cuddling and my profile does say that it is one of my favorite past times, haha. Along with mentioning that I was not on that site looking for “friends”. I try to make this very clear to everyone that I talk to. Especially after they find out what I do for a living. I find it very important to be upfront with my intentions or non intentions of trying to find a fuck buddy. I do not need the internet for that. Read more…
Tags: Dating, internet dating, voicemail messages
