Facebook is Not the New Match.Com!

Facebook is not the new way to pick up on people and because of people who think this…I have become a lying liar that lies!

That’s right! I am now the lying liar that lies out of my lie hole, that I have accused so many others of! But I had a reason. A pretty good reason…Kinda. First, let me start by telling everyone that Facebook is not the new dating site. I may have met my last boyfriend off of Myspace, but you only make that mistake once! Again I stress, Facebook is not the new Match.com!

So, I get this friend request from a guy. We happen to have a friend in common and I go into “maybe we met at a party and I don’t remember and now I don’t want to be rude” mode. I accept and within a few minutes I get a message in my inbox. He pretty much told me he thought I was hot (in his best Ebonics possible) and asked me if I would like to meet up sometime. Wow there killer! I quickly backed out of my inbox like he could see I was reading it or something. I then went about my daily Facebooking routine and logged off. Later in the evening I logged on again and I got an IM. It was my new fb stalker. I was nice and chit chatted for a bit then “accidently” logged off mid conversation. What?! Like you’ve never done that before!… Don’t judge me!

The next day while checking updates I had a new message. It was him! AGAIN! Read more…

Tags: Facebook, internet dating, lying liar that lies, match.com, stalkers

One of us has been rescued from the Island …

Working in the adult entertainment industry is much like being on a deserted island with wild cannibals, crazy nomads and the occasional larger than life wildebeest. Its not unlike living in the book lord of the flies … maybe its closer to living the TV series Lost but with even less clothes and more hot women. Why do I have this analogy of a remote island full of terrors? Working in the biz can suck you into a social island. It’s not that we don’t like normal people or don’t talk to our non-industry friends … but well, the biz changes you a bit. Your vocabulary gets harsher. Your sense of what is up for “normal” discussion changes. You have to make sure kids aren’t sitting near you in a restaurant and over hear the terms like bukkake that lead to uncomfortable parental conversations. The other reason it’s like an island … we have a party for the opening of a coke can! Any day of the week our business has some sort of gathering that usually involves free drinks. Which means we have a tendancy to just well … stick together. There are just certain things you deal with on a day to day basis that no one else except like minded industry friends can understand.

It’s not all bad. Open minded people are often attracted to the biz. I can use swear words at work. I also don’t have to wear a suit. Plus I get free sex toys! Another positive from being in the biz … I no longer have a weak stomach… or is that a negative? Anywhoo … the population of my island has recently decreased and I am saddened and over joyed by it at the same time.

Read more…

Tags: Life in Pornoland, Thank god i have friends, Why do i suck

“How Can I NOT Date You” Game-The Unlimited Edition

I think that I have a problem. That’s always a good way to start, admitting right? I think I have a problem because lately I have been catching myself playing the “How Can I NOT Date You” game. I’m usually playing the “I’d like to be your girlfriend because…” game. I don’t know what has changed and I sure don’t feel any different, but let me give you a prime example of what I mean.

So the other night Miss Communication, FES and I went to a little bar, which by the way was a really laid back, chill kind of place. The place was called Lucy’s in Toluca Lake. I highly recommend. Anyways, back to me. Miss Communication and I instantly heard the live music when we walked in from the back and my eyes magically (after I went to the bar and got a drink of course) became glued to the guy sitting on the stool, strumming his guitar and singing with his amazing John Mayer-ish voice. Now, to be clear I was not staring because he was hot or anything, but just on musical talent alone. After a couple songs THEN I decided to try and figure out if he was cute or not! A little delayed I know, but I was appreciating the talent first. What girl doesn’t want a guy that can pull out the ol guitar and sing a song he wrote about her while they sit on the beach at night and listen to the waves. What?! Like it doesn’t happen! So, I think I can sacrifice a little bit of the hotness factor.

I looked at the guy from across the bar trying to decide if I was attracted to him OR the music, but kept getting sucked into the music. Damn that music! I finally turn to Miss Communication, who was just as glued to the music man in front of us, and told her that after some observation I think he has to be only 22, 23….maybe 25 tops. She takes a few minutes and says that she thinks he is her age at least. There is no way I said. He looks like a kid. Oh wait, so does Miss Communication. Hmmmm. Read more…

Tags: Dating, Lucy's, musicians, Talent makes me horny

Giving up the Shelf Leads to giving up the Drawer

I haven’t blogged in a little bit … but for good reason. Sexy Friend Turned into Sexy Boyfriend. Sexy Boyfriend turned into Live in Boyfriend. Who will now be known on the blog as Foreign Exchange Student or FES for short. You see he speaks another language and he likes to speak to me in it when he is frustrated with me so I have NO idea what he is saying and can’t argue back. Can you say sucks to be me?

So I didn’t want to blog about it because … well, I didn’t want to jinx it. Lame I know! What am I 12? Mostly … I am the happiest I can remember being in a relationship in a LONG time.
So I officially have a boyfriend … and we live together. Which is truly wonderful. FES and Pants get along really well and we all have fun together. It’s like a constant slumber party! Actually so far everyone is on Team FES and I’m team Captain!

But there is one problem … Read more…

Tags: Dating, FES, Guys, Living Together, Only child syndrome

Decoding the Male Mind – Q and A : Part 1

From the Desk of Miss Communication: So a little while back we asked for your most heated questions about the Male mind. You see i have discovered a RARE find. I have a male friend that lays it all out. He doesn’t sugar coat it for me but also doesnt hurt my feelings. He just tells it how it is! he is my go to guy when it comes to advice. I felt the need to share this wealth of info with the world! Here is the first round of answers to your probing questions. If you would like to ask your own qtions email them to whoremotions at gmail dot to the com or if your brave enough, post it in the comments section.

Q: If you want a girl, then why don’t you just make a move? What are you waiting for? Short (of course) of the chick dropping her pants and telling you it’s yours.

A From Mr. Sunshine: Interesting question, I wonder how many girls feel like this…… well from my guy perspective there could be a couple answers for this one so I will break them down.

Read more…

Tags: Dating, Guys, he's just not that into you, Making a Move, One Night Stands, twenty something guys, What What In the Butt

I’m in a relation-NOT with my non

Well, some how I have done it again! I have found myself another non relationship. What I like to call a relation-NOT. I started hanging out with this new guy randomly and we quickly found ourselves hanging out with each other everyday. I mean things progressed quickly! We spent every day and every night for 2 months!!! If that’s not on a speedtrack to a relationship I don’t know what it is. Not to mention that we waited a while to sleep together. We have definitely been having some fun, that I cannot deny. I really like spending time with him and so for a while I have let go the fact that we hadn’t had the “talk”. Though I’m not gonna lie, just about every drunken moment there were discussions. Though we both remember them going differently than the other remembers. Damn you alcohol! Anyways, closing in on going on three months I decide to say something and yes alcohol was involved, but not as much as before. Haha. My non decides to tell me that he likes what we have going, but just isn’t ready for a girlfriend. But by any means we are not friends with benefits and doesn’t want us to date other people, and be sleeping in the same bed together. WTF?! Let’s break this down a bit…

I Like what we have going, but I don’t want a girlfriend right now.
Ok. Kinda understood, but that’s kind of what I am. I can deal with not being called your girlfriend right now, but if there is no possibility of it in the future why bother. I’m not one of those that needs a label, but I’m not going to run around in my wheel just to end up where I have been. If this isn’t going to be more than that you need to let me out of this cage and roam. Haha. You love my analogies I know! Which brings us to the next segment… Read more…

Maid of Horrors

My Longest and dearest friend is getting married. I tried to talk her out of it but that was hard to do considering she is knocked up. The best part is when she called me hyper ventilating after she had taken 4 pregnancy tests and they all came up positive but was trying to convince me it must have been something she ate. Honey, if Late Night 4th meal drunken drive through gave false positives on pregnancy tests … I’d never pass one!

Truly I love her like a fat kid loves cake! She has been with me through every stage of my zany life. I would have done anything for her … Until she made me her Maid of Honor.

Let’s start with the dress …

Read more…

Tags: Armpit Fat, Babies, Big Beef, FML, Things i do for my BFFs, Wedding Season

Over the Top…In Real Life?!

So I have been dating this guy (another non, another post). I decided to take him to an event that was mixed with some industry friends and some civilian friends. That which include the always fabulous crew of The Alleged Ringleader, ShamWow and Lilo. It was going to be a whole lot of people, but you gotta be put to the test sometime right! And I have to know how you can handle/get along with these people in order to continue. If you can’t get along with this group then it will never work! Well, first of all the day/night was awesome! We all had lots of fun cause with that crowd it’s hard not too. But back to the matter at hand. The new guy, Confusion (cause that’s what he has been), had alot on his plate that day, but I didn’t tell him that. I kinda fed him to the lions without warning…opps. Champ (a great guy I had dated) was going to be there and a few guys that I had hooked up with. So, it slipped my mind to mention these…sue me. I knew that if Confusion asked, I would tell the truth. Why make more awkward out of an already awkward situation. So, the day is going good with a few complaints from Confusion on why we are not on the beach when we are at the beach….Cause we are too busy drinking in a bar! DUH!

A few hours into our bar adventures we all head to someone’s hotel room to freshen up/drink more. Well, in this one room happens to be… Miss Communication, The Alleged Ringleader, ShamWow, Lilo, The Champ, Confusion, Myself and some others. At one point I am sitting outside with The Champ and Confusion. I head back inside to talk to Miss Communication about something. As we are talking I believe we both have our ear on the conversation that is going on outside. And then we hear it. We hear the arm wrestle challenge that Confusion gives The Champ. WTF? FTW and FML! all in one simple sentence!!! Read more…

Pity Party of One…You’re Table is Now Ready

FML. Let me begin by what a freakin’ hell of a day today has been. So, I thought it would be an awesome idea to go see a chiropractor while I was out of town. No, nothing was hurting, but I love a good back cracking. So, I get my little massage and adjustment and feel fabulous. At least for the next few days. Come about 3 days later and my back starts feeling a bit sore. Normal right? I knew that it would be a bit sore for a few days, no big whoop. Now about 2 more days past that I am in PAIN! My back is killing me. I hit up my weekly pilates class and instantly feel better for the rest of the day. I go about my day. Ride my bike along the beach with a friend and what not. The next day I can barely move!!! I’m almost positive I have a pinched nerve. FML!!!

I look up a doctor on my new insurance, call the number and they say I can just walk in. Awesome! I practically crawl to my car (yes at this point it’s BAD, real bad!). I get there and realize that I have been sent to an urgent care. FML, that’s like $50 more. Oh, well. I really need to take care of this and can’t wait. I fill out my paperwork, standing up mind you cause I can’t even fathom sitting down and getting back up. I wait for them to call me and take my time getting from person to person. I can’t even imagine what I looked like to people there, haha. I get into the doctors room, talk to the nurse for a bit (not really sure why cause it always seems like the doctor only asks you the same exact questions. Honestly, what’s the point!) So, then the doctor comes in and start his 20 question (or more like the same 20 questions). During the interrogation he asks if there is any chance I could be pregnant. To which my only answer that I could come up with at the time was…”Isn’t there always a possibility?” I mean come on really. What does that have to do with my back??? Ohhhhhh, the xrays. Duh. No, I’m good…I think. Read more…

Tags: BBM, crackberry, cute doctors, FML, pity party of one

Decoding The Male Mind

I have a dear friend named Mr. Sunshine (you have seen him on the blog). He is a straight male in his late 20’s and happens to give the best advice on decoding the many penises in my life! Since he has started giving me advice … it has really made things clearer for me … when I take said advice. Ha! That’s the other part of the battle …

Any whoo! I asked him if he would write a few blogs answering in is “oh so honest, not always what I want to hear, always accurate way” …. Some questions from the ladies! So ask away either via the comments section or to be anonymous send them to whoremotions@gmail.com

I can’t promise you will get the answer you want to hear or something fluffy and PC like you do from Cosmo, but I can promise he will be accurate. And isn’t that what we want? Some downright honest answers about how the man’s mind works!

Fire away ladies ….

Tags: Dating, Excelling at Life, FAIL, Guys, Hanging Out, he's just not that into you, heartbreak, heartbroken, Life Lessons, twenty something guys